Thoughts in the Dark
It’s at night they come, the thoughts I’d rather not have. They whirl around in my mind, so in the end I can’t sleep, no matter how tired I am. It feels as if it’s never been darker, in my room and in my life. Worse, it feels as if it can only get darker and darker, not only because the autumn equinox has passed, but because it feels as if any chances I might have had, have come and gone without me being aware of it, and in any case I missed them.
‘How could you fail at…’
‘If you’d been any better at…, you would have…’
‘What guy would want a girl like you?’
‘Things keep getting worse and worse.’
‘What’s going to happen to…’
‘Everyone else has already…’
That’s how it sounds in my mind, night after night, until daylight comes through the window or I can’t take it anymore and I get up and turn on the light, until I sit down at my computer, or just starts doing anything, whatever, to silence the questions and accusations in my head. Then everything goes quiet, in the light, and maybe, if I get tired enough, in the dark.
Some do it in bed
I started thinking about where I write. The answer is, in bed. I might write at a desk – if I had a study of my own, away from others. At the moment, I’m sharing a house with my mom and my sister and unless I decided to write all night and sleep all day, I wouldn’t get any peace.
Actually, I don’t think it’s a bad idea to write in bed. Many published writers I know of, do this. I think it’s really common. But everyone’s different. Some people prefer to sit at a desk or other table. I guess some like sitting outdoors at a café or somewhere else public.
Of course, a laptop (or in my case an iBook) is really a necessity if you want to write in bed. Once you have that all you need is an electric outlet and you’re set to go. Unless you have a rabbit who likes to chew on wires. If you do, I suggest you keep a constant eye on the cable and/or the rabbit. LOL. Be warned, as you might or might not know, some puppies and cats also like to chew on stuff, sometimes wires, so watch out.
Another thing – I prefer to write quite late in the evening or at night. First of all I’m an evening person/night owl. I feel more alert and creative later in the day. It’s also more peaceful around the house and probably, unless you live in a major city, your neigbhorhood too.
Where do you like to write? And at what time?
