I can’t praise our fantastic Swedish government enough for finding the way to make lazy parasites like myself start working. Just kick them while they’re lying down.

I’m suffering from chronic pain. Some years ago, I was seriously ill and ended up in hospital, with at best a few days to live, possibly just a few hours, according to the doctor who examined me. When I was, rather miraculously, saved, naturally I thought everything would be ok.

My doctor told me that my illness had taken several years to build up. That explained why I’d been so terribly tired in the past couple of years and also why I hadn’t been able to keep any food down the last couple of months before I was hospitalized in the nick of time.

I’m guessing you’re saying, fine, you’re healthy now, or close enough, so it shouldn’t be a problem getting a job now, you lazy parasite. Or something a bit more tactful? In any case, if so, you’re forgetting a tiny little detail, you valuable citizen.

Employers tend to be quite picky about two things – education/degree and work experience. Me, I was lying in bed, fighting for my life, while the rest of you were getting your degrees and out making money, feeling good about yourselves.

But hey, like I said, go on kicking me for a bit longer, and maybe someone will give me a job, despite everything. Who knows? Naturally, it’s worth a shot. Thank you so much, my dear government, for your kindness.