Internet nostalgia
I just read a headline for an article about what sites people used early in the internet’s history. That made me think about what sites I used to go to maybe not ‘when the internet was young’ because apparently that was a very long time ago, but at the beginning of my own internet history.
I think that most of those sites were very common. Most people have probably used them some years ago – yahoo, google, aol (?). I chatted on ICQ and had quite a few friends then. About.com was another site I used to go to a lot. There were even chat rooms back then. The site still exists, but I haven’t seen any updates for several years (probably at least five years). Tumblr and Livejournal were two very important sites for me, but sadly I had to leave them.
I still use Care2. I have been on WordPress for a very long time. There’s even a blogger/blogspot blog that I don’t use, not my very first one, because I had one very early on, one that I deleted when google bought it.
Do I miss any of the old sites? No. I can’t say I do. The ones I’m using now are good enough, maybe better than the old ones. I do miss my old friends. It seems strange that I who feel so extremely lonely, used to have so many online friends. Of course, they showed up, became a part of my life and left again, over and over again, that is different people did, but I did have so many friends to chat with that I rarely felt lonely.
Another strange fact is that some of the friends I felt I was so close to, are just gone from my memory. I have forgotten their names. How can that happen? I think I might still have emails from them on some old disk drive or CD, but will I ever find them? I don’t think so. Maybe I should just accept that I had a great time back then and now it’s over?
I had a great time reading and writing fan fiction and even became a little famous in my modest way. Here in Sweden I have been on tv to talk about my slash writing. It didn’t turn out the way I had hoped but I don’t regret doing it. A couple of scholars have used my knowledge of fan fiction in their papers. Occasionally, I have run across a mention of me and/or my fan fiction here and there on the internet. That makes me smile. I still enjoy fan fiction even if things aren’t the same as they used to. These days, I suspect the majority of young and/or new fan fiction fans have never heard of my fandoms so there won’t be anyone new who takes an interest. Most of the newer fandoms aren’t for me, so I won’t end up making any new friends either.
Maybe sooner or later everyone ends up feeling nostalgic for the good old days. That reminds me of a new song by a favorite singer of mine – Darin Zanyar. His new song (at least it’s new to me) is called ‘Take me back’ (in Swedish). It seems he too, is nostalgic for the past. His better days. Now I’m sure he’s going to see better days again, but I doubt that’s true for me. I wish he wasn’t just hot and talented but actually had some magic that could ‘take me back’.
Enjoy.
Getting inspiration
A long time ago, I read some writing tips shared by Agatha Christie. She recommended reading the news.
As it happens, I read a lot of news online, not because I’m really interested, but to stay busy and keep my mind occupied (too much info?). Unfortunately, I have never really felt I had one single good idea for my writing from that source. I suspect it’s because this advice came a very long time ago (a lot longer ago than when I read it) – at a guess, maybe in the 1930’s, which of course would be extremely different in many ways).
Personally, I get my ideas from a mix of my book reading (mostly fiction, but naturally also non-fiction) and real life. It goes something like this: Why is it like that? (Usually feeling bitter and upset about something) Why isn’t it like that instead? And I start writing a story about that. Actually, I have on occasion (just a few times) been inspired by real, actual dreams. And why not? In Swedish we have a saying that goes something like this: All ways (methods etc) are good except the bad ones. Which is true.
In fan fiction though, I have to admit that most of the time I’m just inspired by a handsome face.
Where do you get your inspiration for your writing?
How I choose the books I read
Since this is a book blog, I thought I’d get into how I choose the books I read. (After my writing-related blog posts, in case you’re wondering).
Originally, before I started hanging out online all the time, I would simply read the back cover blurbs. Most of the time, that worked for me because I have been reading books since I was four years old and my experience has taught me a lot about what I like and what I don’t.
Then when I went online, I found many online reviews and although I know that sometimes they are fake, I still think that if you see many positive reviews on many different sites, it has to mean something. Though frankly, it’s the bad reviews (not badly written ones of course) that help me the most. If a book get 99 % great reviews and there’s just one or two that isn’t nearly as positive, that might put me off the book, if what the review says makes sense to me.
There were already a handful of reviews for me to read, even back ‘before the internet’ but let’s face it, the few words quoted from fantasy magazines, other magazines and newspapers on the back covers or inside the book, were usually cropped so you’d only get a few vaguely positive words, that don’t really mean much. Remember?
I also got personal recommendations. Not that I personally knew many book lovers whose opinions I trusted, but you know – even one rec might make a difference. That reminds me of a time when I was probably in my late teens or early twenties. I used to come to Goteborg/Gothenburg to shop for books (before I found my favorite online bookstores) and in one of the stores there was a guy who loved fantasy books. A really nice, and quite good looking guy too, a little older than me,I think. Unfortunately, he already had a girlfriend… :/ He helped me with book recommendations and that was probably one of the first real life ones for me.
My acquaintances – because I can’t really call them friends – never seem to have enjoyed reading. What a miserable town this is. (But I won’t be here for much longer.) For instance, when I was nine, I was still being invited to birthday parties (and kept being invited for about a year or so more, before everyone decided I was too boring, or so I suspect). I was supposed to bring a present so I bought a book. What else would I have picked? The birthday girl said thank you, more politely than I would expected, looking back at how she turned out when she was older, then said: but I don’t really read books. What? At the time, I was mainly embarrassed, feeling like a fool, but looking back I’m also thinking – how on earth can someone not like reading?
Having read other book blogs, I know a bit about how other readers choose their books, but I’d still like to ask: How do you pick which books to read?
Orange
I’m getting to be really tired of the color orange. It’s more or less everywhere online. Is it a ‘teen’ color or is it one that people of all ages like? Personally, I put it among my three least favorite colors (brown, beige, orange), yet most people seem to prefer them.
When it comes to blog themes, it seems to me that 99 % of them all are basically white (‘clean’ – or in my words ‘yawn’), but if there’s any other color it’s usually one of the ones I hate the most.
Actually, I’m beginning to see all this as a part of a much larger picture – the way the world is always leaning towards the side I hate. I’m not going to go into details, but if things can go either way, I find that most of the time, it leans in the opposite direction of what I would wish.
It’s very discouraging, though I must add that I never expected everything to go my way. I know it’s completely unrealistic. However, it would be nice if just once in a while, *something* could turn out the way I want it.
TV, Books and Writing
The third season of The Bridge (Bron), will soon be on Swedish tv. This time I really should be smart enough not to watch it. I should have learned my lesson from watching the first two seasons. I watched the first season and disliked it, particularly the ending. Despite that I went on to watch season 2, out of boredom and because the first episode was actually very interesting and exciting. The rest weren’t, but I stupidly continued watching until the end, that again, I disliked more than the whole rest of the series. By now, I should really learn from my experience.
At least there are a few other series I can watch instead.
In other news:
Since I wrote the Vera fanfic, I have also written two short original stories. It’s amazing, and I wouldn’t have guessed I’d be able to, only a week or so ago, but unfortunately, I’m not at all sure I’ll be able to finish the three books I’m working on and definitely not get started on the fourth book and two collections of short stories. I’m not really that inspired. It’s just something to do.
Today, I also discovered that I actually can borrow the two Maria Lang/Dagmar Lange mysteries as e-books – as long as I get a library card in a small town not far from here. I could get one right away, the next time I go and I might, but since I also might move there or closer to there, I think I’ll wait until I actually do move (which will be very soon, hopefully) at least if we can find a reasonable good house. We’ve already looked at a few, but none of them were a good fit for us.
In that town there’s also a really great supermarket with lots of locally grown (organic) vegetables and fruit. It’s the best shop I’ve seen anywhere. Finally, there’s also a very nice, but a bit expensive cafe.
More whining
I’m sure all my friends have missed my whining. (LOL), but don’t worry, here I go again:
People don’t visit our publishing website. Ok, I can understand that not everyone wants to buy our books. Most people don’t even know we sell books (we need to work on our marketing skills, I know). That’s ok. Well, sort of. But I’ve been working really hard on making it a nice, interesting book-related blog too. And no one visits those pages/posts. Ever. What they keep coming back for are the pages where we list free legal downloads of books, mainly classics.
People also don’t visit our vegan sites, at all really. Sure, we’ve had visitors in the past and even now, we do get maybe 2-3 per six months or so. On the Swedish site. Far fewer hits on the international one. Again, I work quite hard at finding interesting articles to link to and whenever we’ve done some vegan product shopping or made a new recipe we try to post a photo or at least a comment on that. Still, no interest at all.
And finally, my personal homepage (in Swedish) gets the occasional visitor, one measly hit at a time a couple of times a week. Which should be good. But again, I’m trying really hard to post interesting varied stuff there and whenever I have posted a link to an interesting article (or I’ve shared a review of a book or tv series/movie), and I get a visitor, I think oh, that’s why. I’m always wrong. People are only interested in checking out the links to the tests of ebook readers, a photo of a particular modest little flower and a weird search term that I still don’t get, connected to the Muses. And I never ever get any comments at all.
Sorry about coming across like a five-year-old, but I actually feel a little better after having a bit of a whine.
Alternate titles for the same book are evil
Different titles for the same book (American and UK editions), are evil. This is the second time recently, I’ve accidentally ended up buying a book I already have. This time, it’s book 2 in the Obsidian Mirror/Chronoptika series, by Catherine Fisher. I already had The Box of Red Brocade and wrongly assumed that Slanted Worlds was book 3. Unfortunately, it’s still just book 2 and I could already have owned book 3. Also, apparently, it’s not a three but a four books series. How confusing. Or is it just me being stupid?
Bad tv and a stolen box
In case you’ve missed my whining, here’s a bit more. 🙂
Minor problem, but one that’s irritating me:
Tonight I expected to watch another episode of Midsomer Murders. Instead, Swedish tv has decided to air the Crown Princess’ birthday celebration all night.
Bigger problem, but perhaps one that has helped clarify things:
Today, mum and my sister went up to the cottage. (I hope she’ll post some photos from her outing). Everything was fine out there, except for one thing. When we left in a rush the last time we were there, we accidentally left a metal box out in the rain – not the kind the rusts, fortunately. Unfortunately, now it’s gone. And since this place is right in the middle of the woods with no road passing through (except a path for walking, and barely, driving tractors on), no stranger can have come up to the house. That means one of the neighbours must have taken it. I refuse to believe the lady who always helps us will have taken it, but I strongly suspect the hunter. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it, but there’s someone who’s constantly shooting at things, even out of season (we assume he’s practicing). On the other hand, we did run into a man with a hunting dog once and he seemed nice. There’s also a farmer, that I know absolutely nothing about (of course, for all we know, he could be the man with the dog).To be honest, I suppose one of the lumberjacks that the land owners call in to cut down trees, may have taken the box.
Be that as it may, we now feel rather upset with the place. In the past, we’ve hesitated to leave, for sentimental reasons. Our parents bought the cottage more than thirty years ago. It’s peaceful and pretty. However, now we’re thinking we should leave. It’s really difficult to have two different ‘homes’ and have trouble living in either of them. First though, we need to get our act together and move up there temporarily (while we fix up this place, in town). Then we’re going to look into moving the cottage and selling the land. I think the lady we bought the land from originally (her late husband really) will want to buy it back to grow trees on it. She’s still making money from forestry (using hired hands, naturally). We won’t get much, but maybe it will help not to have to worry about two, maybe three properties, again, neither very suitable for living in permanently.
There’s still a very long way to go before we can settle this, but maybe this unpleasant incident has helped us decide and to break the ‘deadlock’ we’ve been in.
A dream about Doctor Who
I had a dream last night. I was with the Doctor. Don’t remember much, but it was kind of cool. Love the TARDIS.
23 statements about me – meme
I found this meme on two Swedish book blogs.
My name is Camilla, but I often call myself MilliLinnea or Ilirwen.
At the moment, I’m a bit sick.
I’m good at spelling and proofreading, which is good, because that’s actually my job)
I don’t like cruelty to animals, neighbours, bicyclists, mean people in general.
I’m bad at being social (in real life, online it works a bit better).
I’m reading (at the moment – a Swedish historic non-fiction book about an eighteenth century lady, married to the king’s brother).
I like books, history, languages (and also historic tv-series).
I sing (not at all, because I don’t have a good singing voice).
I love my family, including the four-legged kids, and also practically all animals in the world.
I’m not particularly good at doing practical things, unfortunately.
I prefer tea to coffee (but love iced water), the countryside/the woods to urban areas (but like cities better than small towns, usually).
I like tasty vegetables like avocado, kale, zucchini, chocolate and home made bread.
I’m addicted to books, of course. 🙂
I’m wearing a blue long-sleeved t-shirt and blue sweatshirt pants.
I’m drinking – nothing at the moment, but I just had a big glass of ice cold water, because it’s hot outside.
I listen to older music, that is classical (especially baroque music) and a bit older pop and rock (80’s and 90’s).
I get angry at stupidity, especially at how extremely cocky stupid people are, it’s dangerous, see below.
I’m scared of everything bad that’s happening in the world today.
I wish for a better future, for my family and for others.
I’m embarrassingly bad at doing practical things, even pretty simple things, like ironing clothes.
I grew up in West Gothia, Sweden where I’d love to stay, but unfortunately, in a dreadful little town that I’d love to move away from.
I also found a few extras on one of the blogs, and I wanted to add those too.
I’m exceptionally good at – hm – I’m not sure if I am exceptionally good at anything, but like I mention above, I am pretty good at spelling, grammar, proofreading and editing text, and also languages, like English and French.
I like that I dream of big changes for the better, for myself and the world. That is, I dare to dream about getting a fresh start, when I’ve got a bit stuck in life.
