I posted this message in G+. Even though it’s partly about that community, a lot of what I say is about my life and how I feel.
LEAVING – NOT LEAVING
Some of you might have seen my emotional post about leaving. I really felt what I said yesterday and it’s true that I’ve been thinking of leaving, but for different reasons.
Yesterday it was more about ‘the final straw’. I’ll tell you something about what led up to yesterdays silly post and how I feel right now.
1) Losing a friend. I met a friend years ago (2006) in Second Life. Some of you might not think a virtual friend is important, but to me it was, and I thought it was important to him too. We’ve been chatting almost every day since that time and we know more about each other than our RL friends. Now that friendship is breaking up. I know, people change, but I’ll still miss what we had. Now he claims that I don’t understand, that everything (whatever that is) is my fault and that I’m not caring enough.
2) Changes at work. We’ve gotten the indication that we’ll lose funding. And now, yesterday our boss called a meeting for Tuesday, wanting to “talk about the future”, first in a group meeting and then with each of us. Imagine what a weekend I’ll have, worrying. I come from a very long unemployment and this is my first permanent job ever. Turns out it’s not all that permanent.
3) The final straw. Yesterday two of my “friends” here on G+ told me I was uncaring and selfish. That last one made me snap and brought back all the doubt I’ve had with G+ and that I haven’t been able to fully fit in. And that isn’t typical G+. It always comes down to that – I’m different and I don’t fit in.
All of the above made me think about leaving. Now I’m not sure. I won’t fit in better if I try somewhere else. I just have to accept that I’m different and that I’ll never fully fit in. For now, I’ll take a little break, and if I do decide to delete my account, I promise to tell you in advance.
Thank you all that showed that you cared. You make me feel less alone and sad. Hugs!
You are so much more than how others define you. Be who you are. I miss seeing you every Sunday and having brief, enjoyable moments. You are so caring and have a sense of humour, too. I’m sorry other people have made you feel like this. I liked you just the way you were (and are). Never let anyone steal your joy!! {{{hugs}}}
Thank you and hugs. It’s really good to hear from you.:)
I kind of miss the sunday chats even though InWorldz isn’t really my thing. I go to SL from time to time to listen to live music. My main grid is Metropolis though. I’d love to see you there some day, if you want to sign up for an account. Thomas is a stubborn man and he won’t try out another grid though.
Say hi to Cinn from me.
Cinn says “hi” back! Who knows, we might give that a try. We have hardly been to IW since Sunday Salsa ended. SL is still our place, but I know Cinn would be interested in trying another. Hmmm… Metropolis … we’ll have to keep that in mind. 😀
I’m commenting on this rather late, but I do sympathize with your situation and overall experiences. Mainstream social media has a value, but not the same value for everyone. If you’re not into popularity contests or pushing personal agendas or long-winded debates that ultimately solve nothing, then it’s hard to settle in. Unless you enjoy an unlimited supply of cat pictures – as I do – but that’s what Pinterest is for 😉 Anyway, when all is said and done, being yourself is the ultimate thing you can do for… yourself. Our entire online culture has become incredibly proficient at defining and categorizing ourselves and each other, and even the people there who claim to be “unique” have a thousand followers who are also claiming to be “unique” – all in the same way. So, find the place that DOESN’T make you feel uneasy or frustrated, where you can hear music beyond the great wall of noise, and build your secret garden. Oh, and don’t forget to feed the unicorns…
I agree with you, you can’t get enough of cat pics 😉 even though I can’t really understand Pinterest LOL.
And about that special place, perhaps with all the unicorns, I am still looking, but I’m young enough at heart to believe it does exist.