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Dec 29

A dime a dozen

Posted on Saturday, December 29, 2007 in Writing

There are times when I feel like this. That what I’m writing is of poor quality, lacks originality and is plain boring. At other times I can be more hopeful. But… The truth is, I know there are plenty of girls like me, some very young, some a bit older, who write about almost exactly the same themes I do. Many of them write as well as I do or better.

What do I have to offer, really?

Times like these, I just know I’ll never have my books published. Who would like to read them?

But then again, sometimes I consider this: others, less talented writers not only get published, but sell like mad. Then I think, why not me? If they can make it, so can I. Maybe I’m even a little better than they are, these writers who shall remain anonymous. They might be among your favorites. The last thing I want is to insult my readers.

At the end of the day, all I know is that I don’t know anything. Someone a lot smarter than I am, came up with that, but it’s still true.

Dec 20

Why I write

Posted on Thursday, December 20, 2007 in Writing

I write because all the time, my mind is full of stories. I’m always thinking “what if things were like this instead”. A writer has full control over her created world. Since personally, I lack control over my life, no matter how hard I try, how much I struggle, I like to have control somewhere.

Writing is creating, and I can’t create anything else.

Besides, languages are my life. I love learning languages, but so far I can only write in two languages. If I had my wish, I’d like to be able to write in all my languages, but I realize that really only the two I already master are ‘useful’.

One reason I write (and create stories inside my head) is that I can’t stand myself the way I am or my life the way it is. When I write I re-shape my reality so I can go on living.

I write because it’s one of the few things that makes me feel happy and proud over myself. It’s one of the few things I’m good at. That means I feel successful according to my own definition. And that’s the only way to feel successful.

I love putting together the plot and develop the characters. Even though I love languages, it’s the plot, the characters and their dialogue that interests me the most.

Writing enables you to add your own opinions, that no one ever ask you for, to your story, and be able to say what you feel, and perhaps even influence others. If you look at the works of literature that have survived through history, they’ve had an enormous influence on posterity, even if their own time ignored them and their authors. I’m able to leave a lasting legacy.

I write because it’s almost the only thing that can make me forget the world around me. Writing makes me vanish into a different and better world.

Learning things develops the brain, but so does creating things. And if you learn things that you can use in your writing, it’s doubly useful.

What one person writes could never have been written by anyone else. It’s always entirely unique and specific to the author. Creating something unique is a fantastic feeling.

Dec 11

Defining what I write

Posted on Tuesday, December 11, 2007 in Writing

It can be difficult to define what I’m writing. Especially since I don’t write your usual run-of-the-mill fiction. When it comes to ratings, which is common in fan fiction, and also original fiction, I usually end up in between categories. In what way? Well, if the reader wants something ‘gen’, they’ll usually be disappointed, not simply because my stories are about sex, which they might be at times, but also because I write about other ‘adult’ topics, like violence, drugs, attempted suicide etc.

On the other hand, readers of ‘slash’ or at least ‘het adult’ – in other words – sex stories – will be disappointed too, because what I’m writing usually isn’t very erotic. Most of the time, I write ‘angst’, which means the story is about all kinds of traumas the main characters might have been exposed to. Either in my story or at some time before my story begins.

Another thing which makes it hard to define what I’m writing is that it’s often on various intermediate levels in between subgenres, or at least not a typical example of a subgenre. To be more exact, I often write stories set in another time than ours, or on another world or in a different dimension. But just because a story is set, for instance, in the future, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a science fiction story. I don’t even write what the experts call ‘space opera’ or what might be called a ‘western in space’. What I write is rarely set in space or on other planets. What is it then? Maybe quite simply a drama set in the future, as opposed to in our own time.

Earlier I mentioned that I write about ‘adult’ topics. That’s true, but I also try to turn gender roles upside down a bit. Not entirely. Or not most of the time anyway. I rarely write about a world just like ours, except where the gender roles are reversed. That can be fun, but usually I try to play with gender stereotypes and change them a little. I can’t say that I write something truly unique, but in any case I write about guys who aren’t always super heroes, girls who are emotionally strong, couples where the woman is older than the man and sometimes about threesomes consisting of two men and one woman. If anyone’s dominant it’s the woman. And so on.

All this might deter some readers. Most guys for instance, and perhaps some women too. If that’s the way it is, they don’t have to read my stuff. One reason I love writing as much as I do, is because I get a type of story that I hardly ever find in a book store.

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